Tag Archives: Michael

Clouds

The Great Scott Hodge says: “Change of Pace + Change of Place= Change of Perspective.”

I have to agree.

Recently I was gifted a [rare] day of relaxation-at the spa-with no children. :)  I was so excited for the time of pampering, but if I’m going to be honest, most of all a day free from whining, tattle telling, and baby butt wiping.  I arrived at the spa the minute it opened and stayed to closing.  I brought my journal and Bible and was eager to soak up some time alone and time with God.  I climbed into the pool and stared up at the sky and something unfamiliar happened- it was still and quiet. It felt odd!

This is what I journaled:   “I’m sitting here in the pool- there is no splashing, no whining- no one needing my help… This is how it will be 20 years from now…to forever.   Don’t wish these hard stages away.  They are temporary.”  I sat and pondered that for a while.  So often (very often) I rush through the day just to check things off my list.  How often do I talk with my children, not just talk at them?  How often do I think “if only they were a few years older, then ____ would be so much easier”….(hello grocery shopping and fine dining!)

It was convicting.  I was so thankful for my time away to be rejuvenated, but God helped me appreciate the chaotic little voices in my normal day to day life much more.  This stage of life is hard, and I don’t want to pretend that it is not, but I AM going to be more intentional about being present in the chaos- not five steps ahead in the future.

I kept looking at the sky at the clouds and watched them move (I HAD TIME TO WATCH THE CLOUDS MOVE- perhaps I was overly zealous with my newly found “me” time) :) and I pondered them.  And I noticed, clouds don’t just collide, they absorb each other.  So I thought about that more…How do I let God absorb me or where do I collide with Him?  How do I let Michael absorb me? My kids?  My ministry?  I wrote: “Yes, I need to replenish myself with time alone with God, food and sleep.  But other than that, I need to be willing to sacrifice myself wherever there is a selfish desire- I need to give myself away. ”

I still am going to seek time away from Michael and my children, still going to watch Netflix at night and still share with my girlfriends how the mundane wife/mother duties make me want to punch someone at times.  But, this cherished time by myself gave me new perspective.  This stage is hard, but every stage is hard and every season is a new opportunity for growth and to know my God in a deeper way. I’m going to try and pay attention to the small moments each day, and be less focused on the bullet points that get me to the next milestone.

Change of Pace + Change of Place= Change of Perspective.

Reminiscing

My best talks with God and life ponderings happen while I’m driving in the car. Maybe its because I’m buckled in, body and mind, and can’t go anywhere.  Or maybe because it kind of is like life is passing you by when you drive: you’re sitting still, your car is moving, and things quickly pass by your window- there one second, gone the next.  Whatever it is, I really do think deeply and feel intensely while sitting in my orange mini van chauffeuring my children through their childhood.

I got this text from Michael this morning, “I’m listening to Concrete Girl and remembering our young love”  and as I drove around this afternoon, I let my mind go deeper.

I remember being young and  so in love when we were just 16.  We were sure we’d get married (WE thought we were ready that following summer :) ) and we would write notes to each other in our little “Black Notebook” that we passed back and forth about our future family and all our hopes and dreams that we were bound to experience together.  We went to homecomings and proms, said goodbye at our separate colleges, and really did a majority of our growing up together.

Now here we are 12 years later.  How rare is it that all those things in the little black notebook did come true? (With lots of bumps and bruises along the way, however.) I mean, do I really, I mean really think about that?  When I ho and hum about my daily life of mundane responsibilities that seem never ending?  Do I absorb the idea that I’m raising his children, driving his orange mini van, and being called his wife from now until forever?  That I’m living the dreams from the little black notebook?

So, I am thankful.  I’m thankful to God for bringing about our relationship in His timetable and His plan.  I’m more in love with Michael now then at age 16, and I’m going to push aside the weariness of this season of life and choose joy in my parenting and in my wife-ing.

Thank you Concrete Girl and Little Black Notebook for reminding me that I am my beloved’s and he is mine!

Countdown to wedding

We did lots of fun things while in Texas- but really, when do we not have fun when with my family?  Nothing less than stories galore, laughter every minute, and sisterly bonding.  I love imagining what my boys will be like when they get together as adults.  If they are anything like my sisters and me, they will have very full hearts!

While we were there Trevor reached a milestone- he lost teeth!  Not one, but two teeth!  Normally I am grossed out by wiggly teeth, but his were pretty much bloodless.  They just kind of fell right out.  No pain involved!  That’s my kind of way to lose teeth. :)  The tooth fairy was a little confused, maybe he has a rookie tooth fairy assigned to him?  Or it could be the fact that we were on vacation and Trevor “bed-hopped” which resulted in multiple tooth fairy deposits.  :)

As usual, we spent lots of meals at Taco Cabana.  (Remember the homework ABC book?  “T”: Taco Cabana…oh, and “M”: Missing tooth)

Trevor was super excited that the hotel gave him his very own key card.  (He called it his credit card…)  “H”: Hotel key

Whenever we visit TX, Michael has a “food list” of places we HAVE to visit for at least one meal.  One place is Rudy’s BBQ. (ABC alert, “R”: “Rudy’s)  Yumm-O! :)

I just had to post this one...I knew my sister Elli would love it :)

Obviously, Simon was a HUGE hit this trip!  He was one popular little fellow.  Can you blame him though?  He’s just so darn cute!

Simon's Great Aunt Kathy
Simon's Great Uncle Tom
Simon and Laura
Simon and Sarah
Landon holding Simon and saying "Oh! I almost pulled his head off!" :)

I just happened to be a part of the most GORGEOUS wedding party ever- oh yes, then there is me- the pale faced, mom of 3, 2 weeks postpartum chubby one. But let me tell you, for being moms, Sarah and I still hung with those girls at the Bachelorette party! So what if we had to come home 3 hours before the rest of them to feed a newborn, we still participated in the festivities. And that impressed me. :) This is the morning after the Bachelorette party. See what I mean? It’s the makeup free morning after and each one of these girls are drop dead gorgeous. I’m honored I got to tag along. :)

pedicure bride :)
only Simon would be the two week old getting held at the nail salon...actually it would be hard to get him away from Bailey if I tried!

More to come… :)

Sea World

Just to continue on with my craziness in the past, I flew to Texas with my 3 week old.  I’ve got to keep doing it big! :)

It wasn’t just any old trip though, my sister Christina was getting married!  It was a great week packed with lots of fun things and lots of great reunions with friends and family.  When we got home we needed a vacation from our vacation!

When we lived in Texas we visited Sea World often.  But Trevor was 2 when we moved and Elliott 7 months, so we knew now they were at  perfect ages to really appreciate all the greatness of Sea World.  It was a great time with the Musfeldts and Emily Unruh!

Because Kindergarten is so much more intense than I remember it, Trevor had homework while he was gone.  He had to make an ABC book with a picture from our vacation for every letter of the alphabet.  It is harder than you would think!  You’ll see…

Christina wearing Simon in the “Baby Bonjure” as she calls it. Haha!
Trevor’s “E” picture: Elli, Emily, and Elliott
Trevor’s “Y” picture: Yell on a roller coaster!
Trevor’s “D” picture: Dolphin
Trevor’s “W” picture: Mommy and Baby whale (I was especially teary during this segment of the Shamu show- the mommy and baby, how cute is that? I did just have a baby, so I’m sure my hormonal imbalance had nothing to do with the tears……)

Why does my husband…

I read this today and I needed it…maybe you will too? I’ve got to get this Personality Plus for Couples book! :)

Why Does My Husband…

20 Sep 2010

Melanie Chitwood

“I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14 (NAS)

Have you ever found yourself puzzled about why your husband does or doesn’t do certain things? Are you ever frustrated with his quirks and preferences?

Why does he have to have the proper tool for his project, when it seems to you he already has ten power tools that could surely serve the purpose? Or why does he not get the kids to bed on time, like you reminded him to do? Doesn’t he know a schedule is important? Perhaps you’ve been on the other end of your husband’s frustration when you want to socialize at the party as late as possible, but he’s ready to leave after an hour.

While a couple’s differences stem from many sources, one of the main sources of our differenc es is our unique personality types. Years ago when I stumbled across a book, Florence Littauer’s Personality Plus for Couples, I felt like a light bulb turned on as it offered insight into my husband. This man who is very different from me.

This book explains that every person tends to fall in one of four personality types: Sanguine, Choleric, Phlegmatic, or Melancholy. Most people have a primary personality type and a secondary personality type, and each type comes with its positive and negative aspects.

The Sanguine personality type, also called the Popular Personality, is outgoing, adventurous, attention-seeking, talkative and social. Possible weaknesses of a Sanguine are they avoid anything that’s not fun, tend to run late, and often do not finish projects.

When you think of the second personality type, the Choleric or Powerful Personality, think of a take-charge leader. Cholerics love challenges, are self-motivated, driven and determined. Their st rong personalities can lend to weaknesses, such as being opinionated, stubborn or insensitive to other’s feelings.

The third personality type, the Melancholy or Perfect Personality, tends to be introspective, creative, analytical and serious. Some of a melancholy’s challenges are that they tend to be perfectionists, get their feelings hurt easily and can be critical of others.

Lastly, there’s the Phlegmatic, the Peaceful Personality. Phlegmatics are laid-back, stable, calm and pleasant. While their peace-seeking personalities are helpful, they can avoid conflict at all costs, be scared to take a risk and may procrastinate.

Just reading this list makes me giggle as I think of a recent “situation” with my husband. As we prepared dinner for a cookout with neighborhood friends, Scott, a Sanguine-Choleric, got frustrated when he couldn’t find the just-right knife for chopping up vegetables. To me, a phlegmatic-melancholy, it didn’t seem like a big deal – any old knife would suit me fine for cutting up food. Later in the night when my more introverted melancholy side was showing, I was thankful for the talkative sanguine qualities of my husband who is great at making guests feel welcome.

Understanding my husband’s personality type helps me to embrace him for the unique way God designed him. When I see how God gave each of us strengths and weaknesses, I see how we complement one another and how we truly are better together than apart.

Dear Lord, there are times when I just don’t understand my husband, why he does or doesn’t do certain things. Help us both to embrace one another’s unique personalities. Lord, we trust that You can cause our differences to work for good in our marriage and in our individual lives. Lord, I want to go beyond just tolerating my husband’s differences; I want to embrace them. I want to trust that our differences will complement each other, making us better together than apart. In Jesus’ Nam e, Amen.

Related Resources:
Visit Melanie’s blog “What Matters Most” where she is sharing more about personality types and marriage today.

What a Husband Needs from His Wife by Melanie Chitwood

Today’s devotion is adapted from Melanie’s book, What a Wife Needs from Her Husband

Personality Plus for Couples by Florence Littauer

Application Steps:
Take time with your spouse to identify each of your personality types.

Make a list of ten things about your spouse’s unique personality that you’re thankful for. Be specific! For example, “I’m thankful that Scott is a strong leader.” Even more specific would be, “I’m thankful that Scott is a strong leader to our two sons, teaching them a strong work ethic by his example.”

Reflections:
How do you and your husband complement one another?
How do you frustrate one another?

What can you do to embrace the way you complement one another, as opposed to letting frustrations with your differences lead to conflict?

In what ways are you and your husband “better together”?

Power Verses:
Genesis 1:17, “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them…” (NAS)

Ecclesiastes 4:1, “Two are better than one…” (NAS)

© 2010 by Melanie Chitwood. All rights reserved.