We proudly announce Baby Boy #THREE, or “Peanut Wilkie Zielke”
Whenever I pictured my life in the future, for some reason I always assumed I’d have lots of sons and at least one daughter. :) I consider myself pretty girly, and coming from a house of all sisters I really only knew all things girl! I had always hoped for boys since I never had a brother, but I guess in the back of my mind I just thought I’d of course have a girl, too.
After having Trevor and Elliott, I still thought I’d have more children. Oddly though, with this pregnancy I’ve felt a real sense of closure the entire time that I haven’t experienced before. I feel like our family is complete- which I know can only be God because I always told people I’d have hundreds of babies! :)
So when that ultrasound technician said, “It’s a boy!” It kind of came as a shock to my soul.
Not because I was sad I was having a son- I love him more than my life already- but because it hit me that I’m not going to have a daughter.
That night was a very hard night for me. And I’m hesitant to share this with you- I feel very vulnerable-because I don’t want it to be misinterpreted. I love Trevor, Elliott, and Peanut Wilkie Zielke and would not trade them for anything. I’m trying to make peace with the fact that God’s plan for my life is MUCH different than my plan for my life. I know that being a mom of three sons is His best for me, and where would I want to be than other in the center of His will??? The emotional process of all this realization is what has been difficult for me.
Since we found out, I have prayed two things very consistently. 1) That God would help me to trust Him and His plan for my family and 2) That God would fill the void that only He can fill in my heart that longs for a daughter.
God has done SO much in me even in these few short days. He has used so many people to encourage me, whether it be people closest to me, strangers in passing, or my own sons! I’ve felt the embrace of my heavenly Father in a mighty way, and I know He is saying, “Jenni, seriously….would I do anything less than my best?!” Here are some of His sweet kisses:
-my dear friend Erika wrote, “a boy! i have always thought that raising a man of God, a head of a family, is such an amazing responsibility. God must think so much of you as a mother to give you three fathers/husbands/men to raise! and i mean that! :) i know you would have loved some pink and ruffles in your house, but truly jenni, i think it is an honor to be given 3 sons!”
-my close friend Sarah reminded me of our mutual family friends, The Frees. Lauren Free married Mark, who is from a family of four boys! Sarah does Lauren’s mom’s hair and she shared with me how MaryAnn always raves about her in-laws. Mark and his brothers are incredibly respectful, Godly men, who adore their mom. :) AND she now has a fantastic daughter in law in Lauren! I seriously felt my heart leap for joy when Sarah told me all this- I honestly then had a new future “picture” in my head- it was me, incredibly proud of all my grown boys.
-Sarah (again…what would I do without her?) took me out to dinner one night and told me that we are going to make a pact and start our own special memories and traditions as best friends in place of what we’d do with our daughters. So we will go shopping, have lunch dates, and get pedicures all the way to age 90 and beyond. :)
-since we’ve found out I’ve seen SO many families with all boys. (Ironic, right? :) ) I asked one mom today how it has been having boys, and she just went on and on about how great it has been. She’s loved it! And she’s girly too! :) She came from a house full of girls to having a her own house full of boys, just like me!
-and finally, the sweetest thing God could have done for me happened last night. I was sitting at the kitchen table and Trevor was walking toward me, talking. At that moment, I felt little Peanut Wilkie Zielke wiggle inside of me. I said, “Trevor, Peanut Wilkie Zielke is kicking- he likes your voice!” And Trevor yelled into the living room, “Elliott come here! Our brother is kicking!” Leave it to God to use my young son to enlarge my heart and flood it with His love. At that moment, I fully embraced the new and improved picture of my life. My three sons. Whom I love more than my life itself. I am your mom.
So if someone else says anything to me to the gist of, “Ohhh, I’m sorry. If it was a girl you’d have the perfect family!” you WILL feel your face sliced apart as my mother bear claws come ripping down on it. I am delighted, honored, proud, and blessed to have these three boys as the children God has chosen for me.
“For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.” Deuteronomy 7:6
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9