Inside these walls
Meningitis has taught me a few things. For one, I have realized just how important human contact is to the soul.
Thirty six. That is how many days I’ve been inside a house (whether Texas or Illinois) for the whole day and night, not leaving for anything. Fifty days ago, staying at home just laying around day to day would have sounded wonderful to me! You know, life as a chasing around-work from home mom. Lying in bed all day not having to chase anywhere would be like a vacation.
But after being inside a house for well over a month, I realize once again that God has designed life to move, and to be filled with people for a reason.
Not only being miserably sick physically, I began to grow very anxious and feeling blue emotionally as well. As the days inside the house went on, life seemed dreary (and I don’t think it helped that I was watching continuous episodes of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit on Netflix after my whole household was asleep). I only felt half alive if I was lying down in my bed, so I rarely even left my room. I memorized all the features of my ceiling fan.
Slowly but surely, I’ve been feeling better physically and emotionally. My headaches come every once in a while, but regular Tylenol helps. I’m able to eat again and don’t feel as nauseous. Little things make me really tired, so I just take breaks a lot. And I’ve taken small ventures outside of the house and have seen real people which has done wonders for my soul. Now when I walk into my room I feel a little of that same trapped feeling come back…I grab what I went in there for and quickly leave. And I avoid glancing at that dang ceiling fan at all costs.
So, all this has made me think a lot about community. God knew what He was doing when he designed relationships. We weren’t meant to do life alone inside our own four walls. More than ever I am thankful for my “normal” day to day life- the one that consists of preschool drop offs, Bible Study fellowships, 4th and 5th grade small groups, little children running through my house, imprompteau playdates, other frazzled fun mom friends, and blood pressure rising trips with kids to Target.
My life is designed to move and to be others focused. I’m meant to do life with people. I always thought I’d be a great homebody, but it only took the swelling of my brain to show me otherwise. :)
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Sweet Jen,
Cool that God brings it back to that vertical (Jesus bridging us to God)/horizontal (Jesus through us to others) relationship priority. Wow! You sure are sensitive to the Holy Spirit and what He is teaching you thru adversity. You always inspire me! I praise God that little by little you are getting out and enjoying Jesus and others again. It is freeing!! I know you will lean on God and listen to your heart and body when you need rest. I love you Jennifer Joy! Mom
Oh Jenni! That is such a good lesson and reminder for me. It’s easy to complain about life, but even what I think of as “mundane” should not be taken for granted! I’d miss it dearly if I ever lost it! Thanks Jenni!
Pregnancy bedrest did the same for me! You re-appreciate the busy_ness of life. :-) Thank you Lord for the chaos of relationships!
oh Jenni,
Your lessons speak loud and clear to me as well! Anytime we are isolated from human contact for a while takes its toll on our spirit!! I had a migraine last week with vertigo so I was laying around my house a lot, in dark rooms, definitely NOT socializing!! I did find myself praying (for you) a lot!! But in just those few days I started to think about “holing up in my house”, becoming a hermit and my spirit suffered. It took a big dose of worship and Christian fellowship over the weekend to restore my balance and joy. So, when I find myself desiring isolation, I plan to resist that temptation (prayerfully) and get out amongst God’s people.
Since you can’t do that yet, can you have some ladies in for a chat and a prayer time? maybe sing some praises together? We are made to worship in the body so since you can’t go to the body, can the body come to you??
Much love,
Nana Nu
Thanks Jen!
I know we have kidded around a lot about the ceiling fans… Gotta laugh when we can since a cheerful heart is good medicine! Love Aunt Mar. +x+x+x+x+x+x+x+
Oh, I forgot one thing. Xnay the L&O SVU for sure! :-) Try some lighter fare, like The Office, or How I Met Your Mother. ;-) Thinking of and praying for you right now!
yes!! how i met your mother :) it’s wonderful & on netfilx!
Sometimes I wonder what we did to nuture relationships without the instant communication of computers and iphones. I am thankful for the small steps that must seem like huge adventures after so many days of being at home. Hope your recovery continues, and your re-entry to community is righ with blessings. Thanks for keeping us knit together with your thoughts and journey. So thankful for you! nk