Swollen Meninges
Just as the boys and I were boarding the plane on December 26th I thought, “Wow, that was relatively painless! What will I ever blog about if I don’t have a crazy airport story to tell?”
Apparently, God took me seriously and gave me an even bigger story to tell.
I delivered my three cherubs to my parents and Aunt Elli in San Antonio before I jetted to Austin. I had the honor of staying with Christina and Tyler for the week as Super Aunt. I got to help take care of my sweet 2 week old nephew Cayden, and help Chritina and Tyler in any way I could. It was wonderful. I got to cuddle all day with the sweet little jellyBin, but not have to do any nighttime feedings. :) It was bliss! I had so much fun being on the other side of the newborn care= not the weepy new mom. :) Christina was a pro right from the beginning though- she far surpassed me in my first days as a mom. She is easygoing and worry free, none of which describe me.
Towards the end of my stay I woke up in the middle of the night with a throbbing headache. Like a bowling ball was sitting on top of my head. All day I tried different kinds of medicine, but nothing would even touch it. I thought maybe I was having a migraine and I just needed to sleep it off. But when the pain continued into the next day, I was getting nervous. Christina and I drove back to San Antonio on New Years Eve. When we arrived at my parents’ house I still didn’t feel right. Then the vomiting started. I was in so much pain and very fearful. My mom convinced me I needed to go to the hospital (I was still worried they would just laugh at me because it was just a migraine). The car ride was terrible and I could barely make it in the front doors.
When they got me in the stretcher and pumped Morphine and Zofran through my IV it was bliss. Finally some relief! The Doctor said she wanted to do a CT scan of my brain to check for tumors or an aneurysm. Not sure if it was the drugs or my emotional heart, but I was convinced I was on my death bed. I started pouring out tearful soliloquies to my mom about life lessons I’ve learned. When I got to the part about how I wanted her to make sure my boys always remember me and how much I love them, she took my head in her hands and said something to the effect of , “Jen, you are not dying. God is not finished with you yet-your boys need you still and the Lord knows that. But I promise you, whatever happens, I will make sure everyday that your boys know how much you love them.”
After the CT scan the Doctor came in and said my sinus cavities were inflamed. I told my mom to please not tell that to Michael yet- I didn’t want him to get the expensive ER bill because I had a sinus infection! I felt so dumb that I went to the emergency room for a sinus infection. The Doctor said she was going to do a spinal tap because of my neck pain, but it was probably nothing because of the sinus infection. I remember her exact words, “I guess I’ll go ahead and do the spinal tap to be on the safe side, but I wouldn’t get too worried.”
After the spinal tap, (which, ladies, if you have had an epidural- you can do a spinal tap relatively painlessly) my mom and I talked about what we were going to do when we got home. It was nearly 3 am, and we knew Simon would be up in two hours, so we discussed who would get up with him, etc. We had to wait an hour for the results, but thought they’d be clear and we would be heading home. My tears were gone, I was embarrassed I just had a boring sinus infection that ruined New Years Eve.
At 4 am the Doctor walked in and said, “Well I’m so glad I did the spinal tap because you tested positive for meningitis.”
Well, back to my death bed. Hysterical tears ensued. I had only heard of (bacterial) meningitis- the one you can get in college dorms that you die from. “I was just with my two week old nephew all week, and I have 3 young boys- what do we do to keep them safe? Do they need to come in? Are they going to survive?” I really was not worried about me- I had made my peace with death a few hours earlier. I was only concerned about Cayden, Trevor, Elliott, and Simon.
Immediately they put a mask on me and whisked me on my stretcher to the third floor. It felt very Grey’s Anatomy. Everyone that came into my room had to wear a mask, gown and gloves. Definitely added to the frightfulness of this deadly disease I thought I was dying from.
A new Doctor, my favorite the whole stay, came in and asked me if I had questions. My tears increased and I said all I wanted to know was if my two week old nephew was going to be okay. She bent down near my face and looked me in my eyes. I will not forget her compassion. She explained to me that there are two kinds of meningitis- viral and bacterial. She said my cultures were presenting as viral. She told me 98% of my cells were the viral kind, with only 2% of the dangerous bacterial kind. She said viral meningitis was not contagious, so all 4 boys would be fine. I felt a flood of relief when I heard those words. She even said worse case scenario, if my cultures started to say bacterial, that everyone I came in contact with would get antibiotics and would be fine. It was now 4 am and I was feeling a little less on my death bed, but more uncomfortable. With some fresh morphine and zofran I was able to rest.
That was 25 days ago. I didn’t even know what meninges were before this excitement. Now I feel well educated on all things brain and spine. Viral Meningitis can last 7-10 days for some, 3-4 months for others. Two of my friends that have had told me it took months to feel like themselves again. Sometimes I say, Lord- meningitis, seriously?! Seriously.
I’m not good at resting. I’m not good at letting other people care for me. I’m not good at not being in control. But I know God has purpose in everything. I must be that stubborn that I had to get meningitis to learn to REST.
Lamentations 2:5
My Lord has become like an enemy.
He devoured Israel;
he devoured all her palaces; he made ruins of her city walls.
In Daughter Judah
he multiplied mourning
along with more mourning!
“Notice that God started to be like Israel’s enemy. The writer knows that, in fact, God wants the best for his people. He does not say, “My Lord has become an enemy,” but “My Lord has become like an enemy.” Thus, Lamentations 2:5 models, on the one hand, the kind of stunning bluntness that we have already seen in this biblical book. Yet, on the other hand, this verse gives evidence of faith, embattled faith, struggling faith, but faith that God is not really the enemy. Most Christians will go through seasons of life when God feels like anything but a friend. Perhaps we’ll wonder if God has simply turned his back on us. Maybe we’ll suffer so much that we’ll begin to feel as if God were our enemy. Lamentations urges us not to hide these feelings or pretend that they don’t exist. At the same time, this book encourages us to hang onto the truth about God, to trust that he is who he has revealed himself to be, even if we can’t make sense of his actions or inactions.” -Mark Roberts
I refuse to give up. I refuse to let these circumstances swallow me up. My hope is in the Lord, and I trust Him even in my sickness. I am thankful for the rest (that I usually fight), and all the people that have surrounded us with prayer, meals, groceries, cards, childcare, and encouragement. I am learning what it is to be part of the body of Christ, and to truly carry one another’s heavy load in life. So here I am lying in my bed, which I’m pretty certain is not my death bed, trying to soak in all these lessons. I get it Lord, thank you for the meningitis, but I’m ready for you to take it away now. :)
“Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands. Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing. Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations. Psalm 100:1-5
8 comments2011 in review (and behind the scenes)
Behind the scenes:
I asked Michael to help the boys write their current likes and dislikes for our Christmas card this year. We laughed and laughed at their final picks. I love each of their unique personalities! :)
Note Trevor’s “don’t like” number 9…haha, oh Trevor.
Trevor’s List:
Elliott’s List:
Final product:
Merry Christmas! :)
I have worn a lot of black nail polish this year. This dawned on me while staring at my severely neglected toes. I have a six-year-old navigating life as a full time student, a four-year-old constantly flexing his strong will, and one-year-old that eats Glade scented plug-ins. Who has time for primping toenails?
Living with our bundle of boys may limit my free time, but there remains an abundance of joy. One of my favorite events of the day is when Michael and I sit on the ground and just laugh with our boys. Even if just for a moment, we climb down off the hamster wheel of the daily grind and enjoy each other’s presence. We have experienced birth and death this year, and more than ever we realize that life is fleeting. We are finding that whatever life brings, God draws us closer to Him and closer to each other. Life can be black, but God steadily chips away at the darkness in us, and we discover our joy is in Him, not in life’s circumstances.
“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
This Christmas I am thankful for a God who came 2,000 years ago to meet us right where we were, and continues to meet us right where we are today. It is in Him alone that our Hope and our Joy are found!
Merry Christmas and Happy 2012!
And in case you were wondering…
Jenni
Likes
Fountain diet coke
Black nail polish
Smiling
Banana cake
Doesn’t like
Diet coke in a can
Wearing a coat in the car
Fruity drinks or candy
Talking on the phone
Michael
Likes
Egg nog (whiskey optional)
Donut dates with the boys
Old Simpsons episodes
Doesn’t like
Gum chomping
Ice in drinks
Red turn arrows
Follow us at www.zielkehut.com and www.beautifythehut.blogspot.com
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One
Our little Christmas bundle is going to be one! I can’t believe it- time sure flies!
I found a picture I liked on pinterest with a baby holding Christmas lights, and I wanted to try it. -Try- is the key word! It wasn’t easy and my picture isn’t nearly as good as the original, but I sure do think my subject is cute. :)
Questionnaire
I found a few of these “kid questions” posted on pinterest, so I tried them out with my boys. What should have taken a few minutes, took weeks. They acted like each question was the hardest thing they had ever been asked, and we were only able to do one or two at a time before giving up. :)
Disclaimer: I go to the gym _maybe_3 nights a week, and usually at their bedtime. I don’t _like_ to workout at all…
What is something Mommy always says to you?
Trevor: I love you
Elliott: you have to eat your food
What makes Mommy happy?
Trevor: when you got the baby
Elliott: when we give you a present
3. What makes Mommy sad?
Trevor: when you’re not with us
Elliott: when you are sick
4. How does Mommy make you laugh?
Trevor: You don’t make me laugh.
Elliott: when you take a picture
5. What was Mommy like as a child?
Trevor: I don’t know I never saw you.
Elliott: real
6. How old is Mommy?
Trevor: 27
Elliott: 4
7. How tall is Mommy?
Trevor: 27 inches
Elliott: (stretches his arms wide)
8. What is Mommy’s favorite thing to do?
Trevor: go to workout
Elliott: play with simon
9. What does Mommy do when you’re not around?
Trevor: Bring Brooke, Ashely, and Elliott to school and when its rest time put them to rest.
Elliott: go on your computer
10. If Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Trevor: Singing.
Elliott: (stares blankly)
11. What is Mommy really good at?
Trevor: doing stuff at work out
Elliott: being funny
12. What is Mommy not very good at?
Trevor: cooking.
Elliott: playing games on the computer
13. What does Mommy do for her job?
Trevor: go to workout
Elliott: go on the computer
14. What is Mommy’s favorite food?
Trevor: soup
Elliott: salad
15. What makes you proud of Mommy?
Trevor: when you decorate
Elliott: cleaning up
16. If Mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Trevor: that girl that clicks the squares and when she touches them they turn into letters and people spin the wheel (vanna white)
Elliott: Phineas
17. What do you and Mommy do together?
Trevor: go to restaurants
Elliott: watch shows together
18. How are you and Mommy the same?
Trevor: we both help simon
Elliott: our hair
19. How are you and Mommy different?
Trevor: you have freckles on your cheeks and I do not
Elliott: our shirts
20. How do you know Mommy loves you?
Trevor: because you always hug us and kiss us when you get home from workout
Elliott: to the moon and back, infinity! (our saying )
21. Where is Mommy’s favorite place to go?
Trevor: the workout place
Elliott: pizza hut
What makes you happy?
ELLIOTT: not cleaning up the basement.
TREVOR: when we’re going to see Dakota, Nana Nu, Miranda, Grandma Julie, and Grandpa Bob
2. What makes you sad?
ELLIOTT: yes (when he has to) cleaning up the basement.
TREVOR: when you leave us. Like that day you were at texas for month. (it was a week…)
3. What makes you laugh?
ELLIOTT: jokes.
TREVOR: some funny things
4. What is your favorite thing to do?
ELLIOTT: eat fruit loops.
TREVOR: go to buy some toys at Toys R Us
5. What are you really good at?
ELLIOTT: cleaning up the basement (????? He isn’t!)
TREVOR: art
6. What are you not very good at?
ELLIOTT: cleaning
TREVOR: jump rope
7. What is your favorite food and drink?
ELLIOTT: sprite and fruit loops
TREVOR: a kiddy cocktail and I like every food
8. What’s your favorite color?
ELLIOTT: purple
TREVOR: blue, yellow, and pink. Oh and silver.
9. Where is your favorite place to go?
ELLIOTT: Home.
TREVOR: to Texas
10. Who are your best friends?
ELLIOTT: Brendan and Brayden.
TREVOR: Dakota and Brayden and Brendan. Oh and Griffin and Landon.
11. What are your favorite movies or TV shows?
ELLIOTT: Garfield and Johnny Test
TREVOR: Garfield and World of Quest.
12. What are your favorite books?
ELLIOTT: That Phineas and Ferb one at that store.
TREVOR: Ready Freddy
13. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be?
ELLIOTT: Ferb.
TREVOR: Quest
Showering JellyBin
Christina or who we lovingly call Bin Bin (Bean Bean), is having a sweet little boy next month- her own little JellyBin. :)
We had fun celebrating his anticiapted arrival!
Supers
My little supers…
Happy Halloween! :)
(Thanks Grandma Julie and Grandpa Bob for the annual gift of costumes and treat baskets!)
2 commentsjealous
I severely struggle with jealousy.
There you go, I just thew my major weakness right out there in the open! I mean I really, really struggle with jealousy. Recently a situation made me so jealous that I cried for days, was angry with God, and let it overtake all of me.
For a long time, (like years and years) I have pleaded with God to “take away my jealousy”. Or something like that. Then someone wise (okay, my husband) told me I need to choose to not be jealous…it is something I need to actively do, not just expect God to “take it” from me.
2 Corinthians 12: 7-10
“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surprisingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.“ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships ,in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Jealousy is where I am weak. I have let this get me down and discourage me often, but now I claim it and will stomp it out with God’s power. He knows my weakness, and He is using it to grow me and draw me closer to Him. For when I am weak {jealous}, then I am strong {can choose humility in His power}.
I don’t know if I’ve shared it on here yet or not, but this year I get to teach the 1.5- 2.5 year olds at Bible Study Fellowship. We are studying the Acts of the Apostles (the adults and the children) this year, and something that I love about BSF is that the lessons get you deep into God’s word daily.
Psalm 1: 1-3
“Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.“
By being in God’s word regularly and meditating on it, it is so much easier for me to chase His power and leave my weakness behind. The great Scott Hodge said, “Meditation leads to stability, not immunity.”
The road is not easy and there will be struggles, but the closer I walk with the Lord, the easier it is to have stability through each season of life. I promise you I will most likely struggle with jealousy until the day I die, but when I know that jealousy is my weakness, I know God’s power will overwhelm it, and I will be more stable in choosing humility and rejecting jealousy.
To the day I die. :)
King of the Wild Things
let the wild rumpus start!
your WILD company is requested at a WILD 4th birthday party for elliott {king of all the wild things}
where there will be mischief of one kind & another, & treats!
please don’t say no. we ‘ll eat you up. we love you so.
Elliott turned 4! It is hard to believe it has already been four years with our loveable, fickle, bundle of comedy. We sure do love him!
Elliott (well, all our boys) love the book (and movie) Where the Wild Things Are. When I saw this theme all over Pinterest I got to work! We had a great time with our friends and family and celebrating our king of all the wild things. :) Happy Birthday Elliott!
The Wild Thing Trick or Treaters could choose from Gnash your Terrible Teeth Twizzlers, Wild Child Candy Corn, King of the Wild Things Ring Pops, Max's Airheads, Wild Rumpus Pretzels, I'll Eat You Up Jolly Ranchers, and Make Me Wild Hersey Kisses
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Chef Michael made homemade Caramel Corn! (his Dad's recipe!)
I found all these printables here: http://www.hostessblog.com/2011/03/bright-modern-wild-rumpus-birthday-party/
Another year
Thanks to our friend Pamm Taylor, we had Trevor’s hands and feet casted when he was three months old. We found them in one of our “memory” bins and all loved comparing the hand sizes. I couldn’t help but shed a little tear!
Then I stumbled across this little gem in Trevor’s school journal from Kindergarten. What a privilege it is to be these three boys’ mother, and I am thankful for the treasured relationship with each. (I’m praying we are always close friends…I promise often that I will be a rockin’ mother-in-law to their wives!! :) )
Another August, another year of school. This year we sent TWO off to school!
Our star first grader!
Our super preschooler!
Someone once said to me, “The hours seem so long, but the years go so fast”, and I couldn’t agree more. Mothering my three boys has been the most challenging, rewarding, draining, amazing, frustrating, heart filling job God has given me. It daily brings me back to my knees realizing I can only do it through God’s enabling (and my husband’s support). The minutes of the day at this season of life may be exhausting most days, but I strive to do it with joy and humility because before I know it, they will be gone.
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Announcing…
http://beautifythehut.blogspot.com/
I knew I wanted to start posting about my newest passion- thrifting, creating, and all things crafty, but wanted to separate it from our family blog. I was going to do Mom of the Hut (to keep with the Zielkehut trend), but when Michael said it sounded a lot like Jabba the Hut, I deleted that name from the running FAST. :) I don’t need anymore things that relate me to fat blobs.
So, enter Beautify the Hut. My most important job(s) as a wife and mother are to be a tool God uses to beautify the soul of our family. As a creative outlet for me, I like to physically beautify our home as well. Double whammy for a blog name!! :)
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