Birth Story
I haven’t blogged in a while. I have had so many things stirring in my heart, but I can’t seem to find how to organize my thoughts! Hopefully I’ll be able to write something soon. I have to be in a certain “zone” to blog. :)
I have been pondering a lot the love of a mother. The moment I knew I was pregnant with Trevor I began to willingly sacrifice all that I am for him. I gave my body during pregnancy (and my fountain diet coke). :) As my children continue to grow outside my body, my whole heart aches for them to know the Lord, love Him with all of their hearts and bring Him glory. I resolve to give them my time, talents, energy- I know I would give my physical life for them if needed! (I know all you moms can relate and are nodding your heads right now. Or probably even crying thinking about it- that is what I’d be doing…)
Anyway, it dawned on me- man, if I’m this crazy about my sons- my mom must feel the same way about her daughters! It made me in awe of God, yet again. How perfectly He designs not only creation, but life in general. Mothers pour their lives into their children from generation to generation in a beautiful cycle. And what a reflection of the perfect Father’s love for us! Oh! My heart is full and continues to stir. :)
So all in all I asked my mom to write my birth story for me. I want to have a better insight into her love for me from before the time I could even understand that love. I have such deep love for her, especially from the perspective of now being a mom myself. She has such wisdom to share with me, I want to soak up as much as I can!
My birth story….
Dearest Jennifer Joy,
April 8, 1984. How little any of us ever realize what one day really holds…how God uses one small event in an ordinary day to open eternity and change life forever.
I was married to a wonderful man. My soulmate. The love of my life. Extraordinary joy. Strength. Fulfillment. We were so excited to welcome this new life into our lives and become a real family. I looked at Bob’s sleeping face, so peaceful. I felt sleepy myself, but 33 weeks of baby was pressing on my full bladder. My feet looked so swollen. 55 lbs and much water weight gain had taken its toll on my then small-framed body. My face seemed puffy, even more than recent weeks. The doctor had put me on strict bed rest. I had gained 10 lbs in the last week, all water, and my blood pressure was rising. It’s hard to imagine the kind of information we have flooding into our lives and brains on a daily basis now. 28 years ago this wasn’t the case. A little oblivion relieved Bob and me of much stress. This being our first baby, we had no idea that most pregnancies don’t go like this.
But then I saw it. Blood. Oh no. Lots of blood. This I knew, not normal.
“Bob. I’m bleeding. Something’s wrong with our baby.” I felt frightened, and confused. He cleared my mind, called our parents and rushed me into the car. He drove at rapid speeds hoping to attract a police escort. 15-20 minutes to the hospital flew by. The rest a blur. Wheelchair. Doctors. Bright lights. Emergency room. Sonogram (“please don’t tell us, girl or boy”). Heartbeat. Good. Our four parents, frightened, worried, “we love you Julie, everything will be ok!” Toxemia. Pre-eclampsia.
Dr. Uma Ramakrishna. A wonderful doctor. Intelligent. Skilled. Kind. Compassionate. Courageous. A gift from God.
“Julie, you are in labor. Your baby is going to be born soon, unless we can slow it down. I hope to stop it completely.” Bob and I were in shock. What? We were just looking forward to baby showers! Lamaze classes begin this week! Our nursery isn’t ready! Our baby’s not ready. We’re not ready. Bob and I hold hands and don’t let go.
“Please save our baby, Dr. Please don’t let anything happen to our baby.”
I didn’t know God then. I knew of God. But I did not know that knowing God personally was even possible. A little background…I am grateful to God for choosing the parents and family He chose for me. I am grateful my parents took us to church, and helped us learn about God as they did the same. We heard about God, we sang songs about God, but we never really learned much about His Word, the Bible. It all seemed very distant and impersonal to me. Bob grew up in a different church. He knew so much about the Bible, he loved Bible stories. As a boy, he hoped to become a pastor. But through college years, he began to question God and searched out various religions. We went to church together and seemed to think God and church were important. I believed God had sent His Son Jesus Christ to die for the world. I felt sorry for Jesus, as if He was a victim, and did not realize Jesus is God, and He willingly chose to die for me personally. I look back and realize specific times God was drawing Bob’s heart back to himself and softening my heart to draw me close to Him also. This was one of those times!
We began to cry out to God. I told God I knew I did not deserve His kindness nor forgiveness (I grew up learning/thinking we somehow must earn forgiveness and salvation, that if we prayed enough prayers and the right kind of prayers or if a priest interceded for us, all would be well; I had no idea that Jesus Christ is our Sympathetic High Priest, the perfect and only Mediator acceptable to God and that simply believing Jesus died for me personally and rose again to give me new life was the only way, God’s chosen way to be forgiven and enter into personal intimate relationship with the Lord). I knew I was steeped in sin, but I begged God to save our baby. I knew deep in my heart, that if there was a God, He was the only power that could rescue our baby. I begged God, I pleaded with God to mercifully save this life. I bargained with God. He could take my life, but I begged Him to please spare the life of this baby.
And then the roller coaster. The medicine worked! No contractions. No bleeding. But hospital. Nurses every 2 hours. Blood pressure. Blood work. Endless. I learned to get used to needles really fast once pregnant. That escalated and became my new normal. Our parents were frightened. My visits and phone calls were strictly limited. Complete rest, the doctor said. Bob went to work early in the morning, and returned about dinnertime every day. He looked so tired. I missed him. Loneliness set in. Pediatric specialist recommended they move me to a Chicago hospital. I begged my doctor not to move me. I needed Bob. I needed my family. Loneliness and fear mounted. Then it happened. Tuesday night my water broke. Labor returned. Dr. Ramakrishna stayed with me all night, sure the baby would come. Medication kicked back in. We kept praying. The doctor asked us if we would trust her to do something risky…but she hoped it would buy the baby some time so her lungs could mature. Dr. R kept me on antibiotic to prevent infection to baby and me and ordered my blood to be drawn every two hours for the remaining days to monitor that closely. She also did something Bob and I could only imagine being done in the jungles somewhere…siphoning out amniotic fluid to test it daily. Bob was a trooper, driving that amnio fluid back and forth to a specialized lab daily. The baby’s lung development was the highest priority. Next, the doctors wanted her to weigh at least five pounds.
Saturday, April 14. My mood changed. From lighthearted, hopeful laughter, I grew lonely and depressed. Sad. Fearful. Alone. God have you forgotten us? I missed Bob. I missed seeing our families. I felt afraid for our baby. Dr. Ramakrishna called, “the baby’s lungs have matured!!! Your baby can survive, he or she will be healthy!” I felt overwhelmed with gratefulness to a God I did not yet know. He had changed this course. He was rescuing our baby! I could not stop thanking Him. A few precious friends and family came to visit me that evening, they snuck in all kinds of yummy treats. I remember pizza and Fannie Mae pixies. Oh oh, unwise mix. I began to feel sick. Dr. Ramakrishna came dressed in full Indian style, radiant from an evening out with her husband. She confirmed at 8 pm, labor had started. Again. Intense immediately. I remember thinking, “if this is the early stages of labor, and contractions are this fast, this hard, this intense, I am never going to make it!” We were in this lovely labor and delivery room, soft lights, soft music, but we didn’t stay there long. About 10:15 pm, I had to push. They told me, no Julie, it’s too early to push, don’t push. Seconds, minutes seemed like forever. Dr. Ramakrishna returned, I was dilated to 10, none could believe it.
But something went wrong. Dr. suspected something. Whisked me into surgical delivery room. Bright lights. Sterile. More IV’s. Wires, cords, attached to me everywhere. Dr. Bob. Me. Two nurses running in and out. Nothing peaceful. Medical professionals working profusely to save our baby, and save me. I began to feel drugged. Confused. 10:57 pm. “It’s a girl!!! Julie, you have a baby girl!!” Bob kissing my face and thanking God. I just kept saying, “A girl. We have a baby girl!!!!!” I only saw her, touched her for a moment. But my life was changed forever. God. Goodness. Gratefulness. Five pounds and one ounce. Breathing on her own. Immeasurable grace. Mercy. God became real.
The nurses whisked Bob and baby away to the nursery for warming. I knew he would be a wonderful father! Dr. Ramakrishna became anxious. She worked tenaciously. I heard “I don’t want to lose this uterus!” ” She’s losing too much blood!” And I began to understand the seriousness of the situation. The drugs that had been used to miraculously delay our baby’s birth were now preventing my uterus from contracting back down, and hemorrhage was occurring. I became more and more drugged and delirious. But God had a plan. A plan that included two more sisters for this beautiful girl, to be born from this same mama. He intervened again that night. He used Dr. Ramakrishna to stop the bleeding and save my life.
Two days came and went before we named Jenni. Jennifer. Or Bethany. Everytime I held her, I could not let her go. She was our gift from heaven. God creates every life. Every life is a gift from heaven. But He worked miracles to save her and allowed us to know just how actively involved He was in this precious daughter’s life. She was beautiful to us in every way. We never knew a love like this until we gazed into the eyes of our child. If we had known then what we came to understand later…Jenni’s middle name would have been Grace. But Joy fits her beautifully. She brought us joy that we never knew possible. A radiant joy that flows from her heart. A true reflection of her Lord Jesus Christ.
Jennifer Joy Birkeneder Zielke. April 14, 1984. 10:57 pm. God sent you as a light, joy, an ambassador of peace to link us to Jesus to link us to Him. He is good! He is God! He saved my life, through yours. God revealed Himself through you.
Everytime I see you, hear you or think of you, my heart is filled with joy. I thank my God because of you!! I will never stop thanking Him for you. Nor will dad. We love you, Jennifer Joy!
I love you forever.
Humble and grateful to be,
Your Mom
Inside these walls
Meningitis has taught me a few things. For one, I have realized just how important human contact is to the soul.
Thirty six. That is how many days I’ve been inside a house (whether Texas or Illinois) for the whole day and night, not leaving for anything. Fifty days ago, staying at home just laying around day to day would have sounded wonderful to me! You know, life as a chasing around-work from home mom. Lying in bed all day not having to chase anywhere would be like a vacation.
But after being inside a house for well over a month, I realize once again that God has designed life to move, and to be filled with people for a reason.
Not only being miserably sick physically, I began to grow very anxious and feeling blue emotionally as well. As the days inside the house went on, life seemed dreary (and I don’t think it helped that I was watching continuous episodes of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit on Netflix after my whole household was asleep). I only felt half alive if I was lying down in my bed, so I rarely even left my room. I memorized all the features of my ceiling fan.
Slowly but surely, I’ve been feeling better physically and emotionally. My headaches come every once in a while, but regular Tylenol helps. I’m able to eat again and don’t feel as nauseous. Little things make me really tired, so I just take breaks a lot. And I’ve taken small ventures outside of the house and have seen real people which has done wonders for my soul. Now when I walk into my room I feel a little of that same trapped feeling come back…I grab what I went in there for and quickly leave. And I avoid glancing at that dang ceiling fan at all costs.
So, all this has made me think a lot about community. God knew what He was doing when he designed relationships. We weren’t meant to do life alone inside our own four walls. More than ever I am thankful for my “normal” day to day life- the one that consists of preschool drop offs, Bible Study fellowships, 4th and 5th grade small groups, little children running through my house, imprompteau playdates, other frazzled fun mom friends, and blood pressure rising trips with kids to Target.
My life is designed to move and to be others focused. I’m meant to do life with people. I always thought I’d be a great homebody, but it only took the swelling of my brain to show me otherwise. :)
8 comments
Swollen Meninges
Just as the boys and I were boarding the plane on December 26th I thought, “Wow, that was relatively painless! What will I ever blog about if I don’t have a crazy airport story to tell?”
Apparently, God took me seriously and gave me an even bigger story to tell.
I delivered my three cherubs to my parents and Aunt Elli in San Antonio before I jetted to Austin. I had the honor of staying with Christina and Tyler for the week as Super Aunt. I got to help take care of my sweet 2 week old nephew Cayden, and help Chritina and Tyler in any way I could. It was wonderful. I got to cuddle all day with the sweet little jellyBin, but not have to do any nighttime feedings. :) It was bliss! I had so much fun being on the other side of the newborn care= not the weepy new mom. :) Christina was a pro right from the beginning though- she far surpassed me in my first days as a mom. She is easygoing and worry free, none of which describe me.
Towards the end of my stay I woke up in the middle of the night with a throbbing headache. Like a bowling ball was sitting on top of my head. All day I tried different kinds of medicine, but nothing would even touch it. I thought maybe I was having a migraine and I just needed to sleep it off. But when the pain continued into the next day, I was getting nervous. Christina and I drove back to San Antonio on New Years Eve. When we arrived at my parents’ house I still didn’t feel right. Then the vomiting started. I was in so much pain and very fearful. My mom convinced me I needed to go to the hospital (I was still worried they would just laugh at me because it was just a migraine). The car ride was terrible and I could barely make it in the front doors.
When they got me in the stretcher and pumped Morphine and Zofran through my IV it was bliss. Finally some relief! The Doctor said she wanted to do a CT scan of my brain to check for tumors or an aneurysm. Not sure if it was the drugs or my emotional heart, but I was convinced I was on my death bed. I started pouring out tearful soliloquies to my mom about life lessons I’ve learned. When I got to the part about how I wanted her to make sure my boys always remember me and how much I love them, she took my head in her hands and said something to the effect of , “Jen, you are not dying. God is not finished with you yet-your boys need you still and the Lord knows that. But I promise you, whatever happens, I will make sure everyday that your boys know how much you love them.”
After the CT scan the Doctor came in and said my sinus cavities were inflamed. I told my mom to please not tell that to Michael yet- I didn’t want him to get the expensive ER bill because I had a sinus infection! I felt so dumb that I went to the emergency room for a sinus infection. The Doctor said she was going to do a spinal tap because of my neck pain, but it was probably nothing because of the sinus infection. I remember her exact words, “I guess I’ll go ahead and do the spinal tap to be on the safe side, but I wouldn’t get too worried.”
After the spinal tap, (which, ladies, if you have had an epidural- you can do a spinal tap relatively painlessly) my mom and I talked about what we were going to do when we got home. It was nearly 3 am, and we knew Simon would be up in two hours, so we discussed who would get up with him, etc. We had to wait an hour for the results, but thought they’d be clear and we would be heading home. My tears were gone, I was embarrassed I just had a boring sinus infection that ruined New Years Eve.
At 4 am the Doctor walked in and said, “Well I’m so glad I did the spinal tap because you tested positive for meningitis.”
Well, back to my death bed. Hysterical tears ensued. I had only heard of (bacterial) meningitis- the one you can get in college dorms that you die from. “I was just with my two week old nephew all week, and I have 3 young boys- what do we do to keep them safe? Do they need to come in? Are they going to survive?” I really was not worried about me- I had made my peace with death a few hours earlier. I was only concerned about Cayden, Trevor, Elliott, and Simon.
Immediately they put a mask on me and whisked me on my stretcher to the third floor. It felt very Grey’s Anatomy. Everyone that came into my room had to wear a mask, gown and gloves. Definitely added to the frightfulness of this deadly disease I thought I was dying from.
A new Doctor, my favorite the whole stay, came in and asked me if I had questions. My tears increased and I said all I wanted to know was if my two week old nephew was going to be okay. She bent down near my face and looked me in my eyes. I will not forget her compassion. She explained to me that there are two kinds of meningitis- viral and bacterial. She said my cultures were presenting as viral. She told me 98% of my cells were the viral kind, with only 2% of the dangerous bacterial kind. She said viral meningitis was not contagious, so all 4 boys would be fine. I felt a flood of relief when I heard those words. She even said worse case scenario, if my cultures started to say bacterial, that everyone I came in contact with would get antibiotics and would be fine. It was now 4 am and I was feeling a little less on my death bed, but more uncomfortable. With some fresh morphine and zofran I was able to rest.
That was 25 days ago. I didn’t even know what meninges were before this excitement. Now I feel well educated on all things brain and spine. Viral Meningitis can last 7-10 days for some, 3-4 months for others. Two of my friends that have had told me it took months to feel like themselves again. Sometimes I say, Lord- meningitis, seriously?! Seriously.
I’m not good at resting. I’m not good at letting other people care for me. I’m not good at not being in control. But I know God has purpose in everything. I must be that stubborn that I had to get meningitis to learn to REST.
Lamentations 2:5
My Lord has become like an enemy.
He devoured Israel;
he devoured all her palaces; he made ruins of her city walls.
In Daughter Judah
he multiplied mourning
along with more mourning!
“Notice that God started to be like Israel’s enemy. The writer knows that, in fact, God wants the best for his people. He does not say, “My Lord has become an enemy,” but “My Lord has become like an enemy.” Thus, Lamentations 2:5 models, on the one hand, the kind of stunning bluntness that we have already seen in this biblical book. Yet, on the other hand, this verse gives evidence of faith, embattled faith, struggling faith, but faith that God is not really the enemy. Most Christians will go through seasons of life when God feels like anything but a friend. Perhaps we’ll wonder if God has simply turned his back on us. Maybe we’ll suffer so much that we’ll begin to feel as if God were our enemy. Lamentations urges us not to hide these feelings or pretend that they don’t exist. At the same time, this book encourages us to hang onto the truth about God, to trust that he is who he has revealed himself to be, even if we can’t make sense of his actions or inactions.” -Mark Roberts
I refuse to give up. I refuse to let these circumstances swallow me up. My hope is in the Lord, and I trust Him even in my sickness. I am thankful for the rest (that I usually fight), and all the people that have surrounded us with prayer, meals, groceries, cards, childcare, and encouragement. I am learning what it is to be part of the body of Christ, and to truly carry one another’s heavy load in life. So here I am lying in my bed, which I’m pretty certain is not my death bed, trying to soak in all these lessons. I get it Lord, thank you for the meningitis, but I’m ready for you to take it away now. :)
“Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands. Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing. Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations. Psalm 100:1-5
9 comments2011 in review (and behind the scenes)
Behind the scenes:
I asked Michael to help the boys write their current likes and dislikes for our Christmas card this year. We laughed and laughed at their final picks. I love each of their unique personalities! :)
Note Trevor’s “don’t like” number 9…haha, oh Trevor.
Trevor’s List:
Elliott’s List:
Final product:
Merry Christmas! :)
I have worn a lot of black nail polish this year. This dawned on me while staring at my severely neglected toes. I have a six-year-old navigating life as a full time student, a four-year-old constantly flexing his strong will, and one-year-old that eats Glade scented plug-ins. Who has time for primping toenails?
Living with our bundle of boys may limit my free time, but there remains an abundance of joy. One of my favorite events of the day is when Michael and I sit on the ground and just laugh with our boys. Even if just for a moment, we climb down off the hamster wheel of the daily grind and enjoy each other’s presence. We have experienced birth and death this year, and more than ever we realize that life is fleeting. We are finding that whatever life brings, God draws us closer to Him and closer to each other. Life can be black, but God steadily chips away at the darkness in us, and we discover our joy is in Him, not in life’s circumstances.
“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
This Christmas I am thankful for a God who came 2,000 years ago to meet us right where we were, and continues to meet us right where we are today. It is in Him alone that our Hope and our Joy are found!
Merry Christmas and Happy 2012!
And in case you were wondering…
Jenni
Likes
Fountain diet coke
Black nail polish
Smiling
Banana cake
Doesn’t like
Diet coke in a can
Wearing a coat in the car
Fruity drinks or candy
Talking on the phone
Michael
Likes
Egg nog (whiskey optional)
Donut dates with the boys
Old Simpsons episodes
Doesn’t like
Gum chomping
Ice in drinks
Red turn arrows
Follow us at www.zielkehut.com and www.beautifythehut.blogspot.com
4 comments
One
Our little Christmas bundle is going to be one! I can’t believe it- time sure flies!
I found a picture I liked on pinterest with a baby holding Christmas lights, and I wanted to try it. -Try- is the key word! It wasn’t easy and my picture isn’t nearly as good as the original, but I sure do think my subject is cute. :)
Questionnaire
I found a few of these “kid questions” posted on pinterest, so I tried them out with my boys. What should have taken a few minutes, took weeks. They acted like each question was the hardest thing they had ever been asked, and we were only able to do one or two at a time before giving up. :)
Disclaimer: I go to the gym _maybe_3 nights a week, and usually at their bedtime. I don’t _like_ to workout at all…
What is something Mommy always says to you?
Trevor: I love you
Elliott: you have to eat your food
What makes Mommy happy?
Trevor: when you got the baby
Elliott: when we give you a present
3. What makes Mommy sad?
Trevor: when you’re not with us
Elliott: when you are sick
4. How does Mommy make you laugh?
Trevor: You don’t make me laugh.
Elliott: when you take a picture
5. What was Mommy like as a child?
Trevor: I don’t know I never saw you.
Elliott: real
6. How old is Mommy?
Trevor: 27
Elliott: 4
7. How tall is Mommy?
Trevor: 27 inches
Elliott: (stretches his arms wide)
8. What is Mommy’s favorite thing to do?
Trevor: go to workout
Elliott: play with simon
9. What does Mommy do when you’re not around?
Trevor: Bring Brooke, Ashely, and Elliott to school and when its rest time put them to rest.
Elliott: go on your computer
10. If Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Trevor: Singing.
Elliott: (stares blankly)
11. What is Mommy really good at?
Trevor: doing stuff at work out
Elliott: being funny
12. What is Mommy not very good at?
Trevor: cooking.
Elliott: playing games on the computer
13. What does Mommy do for her job?
Trevor: go to workout
Elliott: go on the computer
14. What is Mommy’s favorite food?
Trevor: soup
Elliott: salad
15. What makes you proud of Mommy?
Trevor: when you decorate
Elliott: cleaning up
16. If Mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Trevor: that girl that clicks the squares and when she touches them they turn into letters and people spin the wheel (vanna white)
Elliott: Phineas
17. What do you and Mommy do together?
Trevor: go to restaurants
Elliott: watch shows together
18. How are you and Mommy the same?
Trevor: we both help simon
Elliott: our hair
19. How are you and Mommy different?
Trevor: you have freckles on your cheeks and I do not
Elliott: our shirts
20. How do you know Mommy loves you?
Trevor: because you always hug us and kiss us when you get home from workout
Elliott: to the moon and back, infinity! (our saying )
21. Where is Mommy’s favorite place to go?
Trevor: the workout place
Elliott: pizza hut
What makes you happy?
ELLIOTT: not cleaning up the basement.
TREVOR: when we’re going to see Dakota, Nana Nu, Miranda, Grandma Julie, and Grandpa Bob
2. What makes you sad?
ELLIOTT: yes (when he has to) cleaning up the basement.
TREVOR: when you leave us. Like that day you were at texas for month. (it was a week…)
3. What makes you laugh?
ELLIOTT: jokes.
TREVOR: some funny things
4. What is your favorite thing to do?
ELLIOTT: eat fruit loops.
TREVOR: go to buy some toys at Toys R Us
5. What are you really good at?
ELLIOTT: cleaning up the basement (????? He isn’t!)
TREVOR: art
6. What are you not very good at?
ELLIOTT: cleaning
TREVOR: jump rope
7. What is your favorite food and drink?
ELLIOTT: sprite and fruit loops
TREVOR: a kiddy cocktail and I like every food
8. What’s your favorite color?
ELLIOTT: purple
TREVOR: blue, yellow, and pink. Oh and silver.
9. Where is your favorite place to go?
ELLIOTT: Home.
TREVOR: to Texas
10. Who are your best friends?
ELLIOTT: Brendan and Brayden.
TREVOR: Dakota and Brayden and Brendan. Oh and Griffin and Landon.
11. What are your favorite movies or TV shows?
ELLIOTT: Garfield and Johnny Test
TREVOR: Garfield and World of Quest.
12. What are your favorite books?
ELLIOTT: That Phineas and Ferb one at that store.
TREVOR: Ready Freddy
13. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be?
ELLIOTT: Ferb.
TREVOR: Quest
Showering JellyBin
Christina or who we lovingly call Bin Bin (Bean Bean), is having a sweet little boy next month- her own little JellyBin. :)
We had fun celebrating his anticiapted arrival!
Supers
My little supers…
Happy Halloween! :)
(Thanks Grandma Julie and Grandpa Bob for the annual gift of costumes and treat baskets!)
2 commentsjealous
I severely struggle with jealousy.
There you go, I just thew my major weakness right out there in the open! I mean I really, really struggle with jealousy. Recently a situation made me so jealous that I cried for days, was angry with God, and let it overtake all of me.
For a long time, (like years and years) I have pleaded with God to “take away my jealousy”. Or something like that. Then someone wise (okay, my husband) told me I need to choose to not be jealous…it is something I need to actively do, not just expect God to “take it” from me.
2 Corinthians 12: 7-10
“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surprisingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.“ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships ,in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Jealousy is where I am weak. I have let this get me down and discourage me often, but now I claim it and will stomp it out with God’s power. He knows my weakness, and He is using it to grow me and draw me closer to Him. For when I am weak {jealous}, then I am strong {can choose humility in His power}.
I don’t know if I’ve shared it on here yet or not, but this year I get to teach the 1.5- 2.5 year olds at Bible Study Fellowship. We are studying the Acts of the Apostles (the adults and the children) this year, and something that I love about BSF is that the lessons get you deep into God’s word daily.
Psalm 1: 1-3
“Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.“
By being in God’s word regularly and meditating on it, it is so much easier for me to chase His power and leave my weakness behind. The great Scott Hodge said, “Meditation leads to stability, not immunity.”
The road is not easy and there will be struggles, but the closer I walk with the Lord, the easier it is to have stability through each season of life. I promise you I will most likely struggle with jealousy until the day I die, but when I know that jealousy is my weakness, I know God’s power will overwhelm it, and I will be more stable in choosing humility and rejecting jealousy.
To the day I die. :)
King of the Wild Things
let the wild rumpus start!
your WILD company is requested at a WILD 4th birthday party for elliott {king of all the wild things}
where there will be mischief of one kind & another, & treats!
please don’t say no. we ‘ll eat you up. we love you so.
Elliott turned 4! It is hard to believe it has already been four years with our loveable, fickle, bundle of comedy. We sure do love him!
Elliott (well, all our boys) love the book (and movie) Where the Wild Things Are. When I saw this theme all over Pinterest I got to work! We had a great time with our friends and family and celebrating our king of all the wild things. :) Happy Birthday Elliott!
The Wild Thing Trick or Treaters could choose from Gnash your Terrible Teeth Twizzlers, Wild Child Candy Corn, King of the Wild Things Ring Pops, Max's Airheads, Wild Rumpus Pretzels, I'll Eat You Up Jolly Ranchers, and Make Me Wild Hersey Kisses
/>
Chef Michael made homemade Caramel Corn! (his Dad's recipe!)
I found all these printables here: http://www.hostessblog.com/2011/03/bright-modern-wild-rumpus-birthday-party/
